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Sunday, May 20, 2018

Lady's what?

About a week ago Rosa and I (along with Ana and Rosa's brother) were hiking through a few trails in NJ's Cheesequake State Park and I managed to espy something I had not seen in a long time:


I was pretty sure what I stumbled upon was a Pink Lady's Slipper orchid.....even though (as you can see) it had not yet bloomed. So the other day I went back on my own (in the light rain) to see if it had opened and lo and behold:


The last time I saw one of these was on a camping trip in Pennsylvania. At the time I didn't know WHAT this strange thing was, but to me it looked more like this:



........than THIS:

And as a result, I used to call it a "pussy plant" for the longest time. 

It is kind of neat though that these are technically "orchids". (For more on them click here.) 

They are not actually endangered, but they are rare enough to be of some concern so if you do see one and are tempted to dig it up......DON'T! They have less than a 5% chance of surviving being transplanted. Instead......just enjoy them in the wild.....IF you can manage to find one!


Tuesday, May 15, 2018

Catching up

It's been a while since I posted (at least by my past standards) and there are so many things that have transpired that I will again just post some quick 'bullets'.

The main thing is we had a house guest for about a week: Rosa's brother from Peru. He's a great guy and we had a lot of fun taking him around the area and NYC for a chunky bite of American culture.

Ana is done with school and is now home for the Summer!

Mother's Day was very nice. 

Nickki recently sent me a text to say that a piece of furniture that the prior owner of their new home left behind is ours for the taking. I'll probably be going over there to help them out with a few things and grab the thing. (I have been thinking a bit about a spanking session with Nickki since it has come up a few times and her partner may be softening on the issue. I saw the following picture recently and despite the gender switch, the age and race comparison made me my mind wander.)

I  love Clare Fonda's age reversal spanking photos. She's done several.


Yesterday Rosa took a day off and we went bicycling around Sandy Hook State Park and she got some amazing photos. I even FINALLY got to see a Scarlet Tanager in the wild. We had a great day despite me starting it off by doing an embarrassing, slow-motion, fall off of my bike by awkwardly losing my balance while standing still at a crosswalk. Only a small scrape, but the fall hurt my back and I am kind of stiff today.

Rosa texted me earlier to tell me she wants to give me the treat or treats of my choice later and I am pondering what I might ask for.

Politics continues to irk me and I have been avoiding reading too much. It all just upsets me unnecessarily.

Today I'm going to do some yard projects. The garden is progressing nicely despite some mishaps here and there.


Tuesday, May 8, 2018

Be best?

As many of you know, I LOVE irony. I would PAY for irony, and yet? With each day's breaking news I get all I need (or could handle) for free!

Take Melania Trump's "new" (or maybe 'recycled' is a more accurate way to put it?) anti-bullying campaign "Be Best". "Be Best?" WTF? I understand that Melania is not from the U.S. and had she merely said this in a speech, I would easily overlook it. But as a national campaign?......for CHILDREN no less? Was there no one to advise her that a word was missing in order for this slogan to be grammatically correct? How apropos of the current administration though? Who needs grammar, intellect, honor, or anything.......as long as you have money?

"Hello, I'm Melania. I am third wife to man who routinely disposes of spouses as they age, but know that would never happen to me."

So what's the message to kids here? Be best........but ignore grammar because you can 'be best'  without it? ( Well just look at Donald. I'm sure he thinks he's the best...since he tells people all of the time......even though he couldn't put two coherent words together besides "you're fired" if his life depended upon it.) 

Now besides the grammar, you also have the irony of a woman married to the biggest cyber-bully of all time, telling kids to 'be best' by not being cyber-bullies themselves.  How can you not love this? What's next? An ad campaign with Ron Jeremy telling kids to not look at porn?

And speaking of porn.......WTF #2: what is up with this recent spate of articles sympathizing  with 'poor Melania' who has been cheated on by her husband? Really? Maybe if she was wife #1 I could maybe muster some sympathy, but you are a model from Slovenia who married an arrogant billionaire after two previously failed marriages. Are you going to tell me that she didn't have any idea what she was signing up for? She knew. She knew what Donald was and what he could get for her and went with it. Everything has its price tag. She's paying hers now.......and it's a pretty small one. So please,  DO NOT ask me to have sympathy for this brainless, walking clothes hanger.

And don't report these things to me and expect me not to laugh.......they're just too priceless. They are best. I like.


Friday, May 4, 2018

Shaving cream..........

.......be nice and clean. Shave every day and you'll always look keen. -------Benny Bell

Summer is almost upon us and unless you keep yourself perpetually hairless 'down there' like I do, it's time to consider trimming the bushes........or defoliating the forest completely.




Here are a few cute images to get you in the mood:


you can sit and spread 'em........

...stand and hope for the best........

......or attempt a compromise of the two!

Need help?

Ask a friend!

Better to be caught like THIS.....


....than like THIS!

So, 'here's to shaving cream! May it long lather our nethers!'
Cheers!


Thursday, May 3, 2018

Interruptions and DD

Have you ever known someone who seems to get cut-off speaking more than others? I do. I'm even guilty of being one of the interrupters. It's my Honey, Rosa. 

Now I've wondered about this, discussed it, even researched it and found out that a lot of factors go into making a particular person more susceptible to being cut off. And in looking at them I have to admit, Rosa is a 'perfect storm' of many of them: she is not from this area, English is not her first language, her speaking style includes longer pauses than a NJ person is used to, and in a group she is usually the most timid and speaks less frequently than most everyone else.

I have brought this up to my family and they are just like me. They realize it happens....a lot.....and also admit to being guilty of doing it. And yet everyone loves Rosa. No one thinks she's stupid, or boring, or has nothing to offer. And yet during a heated conversation she gets lost in a wordfest she has no chance of winning.

Recently this trend has bothered her more than usual and we discussed it many times. But even understanding WHY it happens doesn't do much in the moment to prevent it FROM happening. Enter good old DD.

We are now in agreement that if I should be guilty of not letting her finish speaking, she can address it in one of three ways, depending on who is there when the interruption occurs.

1: If it's anyone in the immediate household, or on some level that permits immediate action, that is what may well happen. I could be taken by the hand right to our room and spend the next few minutes learning not to interrupt over Rosa's lap.

2: If it occurs with people around who know about our lifestyle (in our case, that's a majority of our circle) but who  may not be comfortable having me hauled off right then and there for a spanking, Rosa will just warn me and threaten a punishment in front of them. And of course, if it continues, state that one will happen later for all to hear.

3: If we are among 'regular people', Rosa will find a way to issue the same threat or warning more discreetly.

Whichever it is, the end result will likely be a good spanking. I have also told Rosa that the determination of who qualifies for each level of 'comfort' is strictly up to her. If she decides she is comfortable enough to say something in front of someone I wouldn't expect......too bad for me. The same if she decides to take me to the room. If she feels someone wouldn't mind a small 'learning break' right then and there? Again: her call.

Interestingly enough, this came about in a sort of introductory way this past weekend when we were dining with Nickki and Jean (and another friend) and I kept interrupting Rosa in front of Nickki. Rosa had enough after a bit, and being very comfortable about our lifestyle with Nickki especially, issued a warning just like I described. The only difference was that it was just a threat without an actual punishment afterwards. Now, it seems, the punishment will be more probable should this happen again.

I'm not sure how I will feel if and when this 'rule' manifests itself in reality. But I fully agree to it in theory. Now time will determine the efficacy of such a policy.

A novel way of learning to let Rosa finish what she's saying.

Monday, April 30, 2018

A Wolf in Wolf's Clothing

Michelle Wolf at the White House Correspondents' Dinner

I can't help but LOVE that Michelle Wolf's monologue has generated so much discomfort. I only hope that she in no way waffles on ANYTHING she said and descends into some pathetic, Griffinesque contrition. But I tend to doubt that. You can see in her face that she knew exactly what she was doing and that few in that room.....on any side or in any role.....were going to escape her caustic criticism. And how many people like to be publicly rebuked over dinner? Ah well. "You reap what you sow". In fact, I heard she responded to some criticisms already with "thank you"s. ( No.....she knew what she was doing. )

The other thing that is amusing me immensely is the mischaracterization of things she said. You can hear today how she made fun of Sarah Huckabee-Sanders' appearance. Really? I watched the routine.......twice.........I heard no such insult. What I did hear was a scathing indictment of a woman who makes lying an art form. It was a brutal attack on her lack of ethics, not her face. ( Mocking appearance is Trump's routine anyway, and I'm sure Wolf wasn't looking to copy his comedic style.) Being female also gave Wolf the ability to go after the women who deserved it without the baggage that would have hindered a male comic.

You'll also hear that "she went too far". LOL. Really? "too far"? The fact that anyone could say that in April of 2018 with a straight face is amazing to me. If the past year has taught us anything it's that NOTHING is "too far" anymore. It's not distance that upsets people, it's the direction to the right or left that does. To Wolf's credit, she spared no one. At one point she said that it was hard to make fun of Democrats because they don't do anything.....and it was clear that she meant that as 'inaction' not 'innocence'.

One particular 'joke' where she talks about abortion being murder has seemed to upset just about everyone. I thought it was brilliant. It reminded me of how Oscar Wilde would often attack faux propriety by embracing the sinfulness of the thing being discussed. If a person is Pro-Choice and has to hear constantly that they are a murderer, then how perfect is it to counter such an argument by embracing the role? If you watch the entire bit, it is wonderful in how it doesn't attempt to defend the Pro-Choice position yet points out the hypocrisy of those who are "anti".....in a way that is so intentionally uncomfortable.

Wolf's delivery itself was interesting to watch. She would occasionally stumble through some aspect of her main uneasy 'joke' and then end with precise little throwaway comments.....many so subtly delivered they almost go unheard.....that were the true hay-makers. It's like the jokes....even the ones that were strong on their own......were merely set-ups for these knife-twist comments.

One of the other criticisms is that she did not "play to the room". And that is very true. She was the invited guest who insulted EVERYONE at the party, with the disdain of someone not as interested in a laugh or being invited back, but to say what they....and a lot of other people......are thinking and feeling. If you are sick of the hypocrisy and inaction in both parties in Congress ( "I have no agenda. I'm not trying to get anything accomplished. So everyone that's here from Congress, you should feel right at home."), blatant lies of people like Conway and Sanders,( "You guys gotta stop putting Kellyanne on your shows. All she does is lie. If you don't give her a platform, she has nowhere to lie. It's like that old saying: If a tree falls in the woods, how do we get Kellyanne under that tree?"), the obnoxiousness of Trump (  "Now, I know people really want me to go after Trump tonight, but I think we should give the president credit when he deserves it. Like, he pulled out the Paris agreement, and I think he should get credit for that because he said he was going to pull out and then he did. And that's a refreshing quality in a man."), and the self-inflicted weakening of the legitimacy of the free press BY the free press ("We've got our friends at CNN here. Welcome, guys, it's great to have you. You guys love breaking news, and you did it. You broke it. Good work."), then give this a watch. It's not sunny comedy.....more "Lenny Bruce" than "Cosby" but......well.....look at how that turned out.

Since as a 'regular guy', no one invited me to speak at this event, I suppose I am very grateful that Michelle Wolf was there to say some of things I would have loved to have said................only she was definitely nicer about it.



Monday, April 23, 2018

Wonder Woman, spanking, & more...

Funny how swiftly and drastically moods can shift! Maybe in my case all it took was better weather and the elimination of some 'stressors'. And I think the  same holds true for those around me. 

It was an eventful weekend, but to put everything in perspective it makes sense to do some fill-in. Since I don't post as often, things have gone on without mention. On March 1st I posted about an "Impending Punishment and the fact was that the DATs were so stressful for not only Ana , but us as well that the punishment described never took place. However, on the 13th of April, Ana took and passed the DATs......(yay, Ana!) to everyone's relief.

As a result, Ana and I talked about the past incident and agreed that NOW everyone's frame of mind would be much more suited to finally deal with it properly. She re-wrote the slip, lowering the number to 413 (in honor of 4/13, the day she passed) and made sure to specifically request that her Mom deal with the punishment as a serious offense and not some more playful penalty for something more minor. 

Rosa was in the perfect mindset for this and followed her daughter's instructions to the letter! 413, "very hard with the wooden spoon". She did two installments so she could really spank hard, and both spankings were very difficult to take. I yelled out several times in earnest, but my Honey remained steadfast and undeterred. My bottom is tender as hell this morning! Ana is amused and pleased......as was Rosa in doing it. And as much as I appreciated the guilt-elimination and strength of my "bosses", I can't say the ordeal was enjoyable in any way. A true punishment!

In the middle of all this, we went over to Marta & Wally's to watch "Wonder Woman". I had heard great things about this movie, and not being a huge DC fan decided to give it an eager try. Verdict? It was........OK. Nothing special. I'm not sure what all the fuss was about. It was like the first Captain America movie in a lot of ways. I would love to see a return to "super hero movies" having a decent story.......like the first Tobey Maguire "Spiderman"......or a very good hero movie, with a nuanced and complicated plot: "The Watchmen". There is just too much emphasis on action. (There was this one move that they did: a sort of splayed kick-flip that reminded me of when a cuckatoo raises its crest feathers, that they did over and over and OVER ad nauseam! UGH! It was like....."OK, it took a while to get this move right, so we are going to use it throughout the movie" ) Still, the evening was fun anyway.


What the "Wonder Woman" movie could have used.

Rosa and I also had a great weekend where we just enjoyed our yard and did projects and relaxed in between. Rosa saw and photographed a large bird of prey circling above our yard and when she enlarged the image, she discovered......IT WAS A FREAKING BALD EAGLE! So cool....and pretty rare...... for our suburban NJ area! Rosa has been elated ever since!

We even got a little sexy later last evening and Rosa granted me an "O".....which was very satisfying and has left me with a lot of eagerness to do stuff today.

So, all-in-all........a good bunch of days!