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Tuesday, July 25, 2017

Inside a DD Family

As promised in the previous post, the following is an essay written by my Little Monster, Ana. The account was written by her at my request, but is (except for some minor editing) entirely her thoughts and words regarding actually growing up in a household that practiced FLR/DD openly. It is meant to offer information to couples who may have been debating the pros and cons of making their DD known to their kids.

Our DD household circa 2011. While rendered as 'piggies' the gestures and expressions are as accurate as if I took a photo! (Check out Ana with her arms folded and you'll see why I call her "My Little Monster".)

Ana's Story:

Okay, so I have known this lifestyle for some time and even though I have not personally incorporated it in my own relationship, I have experienced it really close. My brothers and I found out early on when we first came to the country. (I think I was about fourteen.) As far as I remember, I did not feel shocked but more confused. We were more confused on what exactly such a lifestyle actually meant rather than being offended in any way. I think it also helped that we liked (KDP) and we had a pretty good opinion of him, so we knew it could not be something horrible. I think that’s why it made for a good transition, and that’s a very important criteria when bringing up subjects like this to kids. If they trust you, then things will move more smoothly. 

I personally think that letting the kids know is a personal choice. I live in a very open household but not everyone is like that and it is totally understandable. But if someone does decide to announce it, then I think it just opens their family up to another choice of lifestyle from the million choices they already have or might consider. I didn't feel obligated to follow the path or to like it. My brothers do not particularly like it for themselves but they still accept it and are aware of it so it has not really shifted the direction of our lives. I think it is just the fact that we know about it, and now so does a great majority of society due to evolving as people and seeing it in social media more than it was seen before. Sometimes the only misconception is that there are more, and sometimes deeper options than are represented in social media. 

I also think being aware of the lifestyle could be a benefit in that a kid can feel that is okay to be different and to explore not only this lifestyle but other things. So I guess if I was in this situation as a parent, I would be open about it even though it might be a little embarrassing. Yet I wouldn't be embarrassed as much as the person being spanked, but hey, that would be another story. 

I have a close relationship with this lifestyle. I have participated before and I am still an influence now. It is a personal choice and I am okay with that. I can say that I have tried an active role and even though I love the feeling of being powerful, direct action is not in my veins, well….. at least not for now anyway. I have felt like I inherited my dominant personality from my mother. My mother has always been open, especially to me. She has given me limitless power when it comes to this, and at one point this was also a bonding activity. We are so alike that we clash a lot, but this became an activity we both could laugh about, bond over, and where we put our similarities together. I personally enjoyed it and I think that it was a blast. I think because my mother and stepfather both discussed it and told us together and it was not kept as a big dark secret, that it came out as a positive thing. It was a very open conversation and we got a lot of information, maybe too much at the time, but it was something to think about and it was a cool subject. I also felt a little cool myself, because I felt like I knew something “adult” that none of my friends did. So we took it as something beneficial rather than being petrified for life and that we needed counseling for or something like that. 

Also I believe it will always be something embarrassing for the submissive person, because as the submissive you are putting yourself out there no matter what. But since it is family, I think that at first is always harder than anything. Then it kind of dies down and the only embarrassment remaining is that little feeling only the submissive person feels, because everyone else has moved on with their own things……. unless of course they tease you here and there ( but I think that’s just attention being given.) 

Also, I did not once feel less about, or lose respect for, either party. I think that even if I did not agree, I would have not lost respect because whatever you may do personally doesn’t change your character. I think a person still is a person even if they like their own things. You still respect me, care for me, love me, and just for the mere fact that you are revealing something you have been into forever while remaining a good person at the same time, does not mean that all of a sudden I get to shut you out and think you are the worst person ever. Not everyone thinks the same way, and it is always a risk exposing stuff like this. That is why I get the being afraid or the insecurity some people worry about, but I think we got the best situation and it worked out perfectly. 

Who would have thought that expressing such a unique lifestyle to three kids, new to the country and who grew up in a religious strict household, and who just got to reunite with their mother, would be okay with it? Also it helps with being open in the house, since I feel like if one of us three were to be in this lifestyle, or if we were Gay, or Bi, or something different than the “norm”, then coming out would not be as scary as one thinks because we have learned from early on that it is okay to be different as long as you are happy and you aren’t stealing or hurting, or killing anyone. ( Except hurting the guilty party’s butt, but that is different. It is acceptable.) 

Overall, it created a great bond with me and my mom at a time when we needed it, and she guided me not only in her lifestyle but how to handle power and be strong in general. I can take action and I can be my own person when I want to. It also taught me about responsibility. She trusted me to make my own decisions and to use this power and authority how I wanted, and to give punishments as freely as I thought were called for. But with as much freedom as she gave me, she knew I was responsible enough to take it on. I learned a lot from her methods and even though we do not agree all the time, we are both the same. 

But it’s not just my Mom, knowing about this lifestyle has led to half and half bonding with both dominant and submissive partners. I also have a bond with my submissive stepfather, and we communicate a lot, and we discuss a lot. So I know the other end too, so when making decisions I try to see both perspectives and take it from there. So in conclusion, I think being open about it is not the worst thing ever, but to avoid major problems when wanting to be open, just choose your audience well… maybe taking a risk would not be as bad as everyone thinks.

Well, there you have it. I followed up this essay with some questions to flesh out certain points and that exchange will be featured in my next post.

Monday, July 24, 2017

Open DD

A few weeks back, Dan (of the Disciplined Husbands Forum) posted a subject near and dear to my heart: "Passing It On".....which dealt with how people felt about letting their adult kids be aware of the benefits of a DD lifestyle. Considering how strongly I feel about this, it might have seemed strange that I never commented. Well, there was a reason. In looking at some of the early responses I just felt compelled to approach Ana, who comments and contributes here when her schedule allows, and ask her to please reply to Dan's topic......even though she had never commented on Dan's forum before.

I lifted this cute retro image directly from Dan's post. I love the yellow.

Unfortunately, while she agreed, Ana was also in the midst of writing reports for her credited trip to the Amazon, and then started doing practice sessions for her upcoming DATs. Days slipped by with me almost pestering her to a point of annoyance until the entire week went by and it was too late. I felt that my own feelings have been expressed many times.....but who better to tell people what living in an open FLR-DD household meant for the kids there, than her? So without her post, I just remained silent.

But as time went on, my thought that such information from Ana's perspective could actually be of real help to anyone 'on the fence' grew more insistent and I asked her if she would consider just writing an essay on it for this blog. Ultimately, between persistence and bribery, I got her to write a rather revealing essay and followed it up with some interview questions. I also got to talk privately with my youngest stepson, whom I will refer to by his nickname, 'Osito', who also answered some of the more sticky points. So over the next couple of posts I will be exploring the issue of living a DD lifestyle in full knowledge of a household................from the perspective of the kids in one.....though they are hardly 'kids' anymore.

If anyone new here would like some background on our household beforehand, I refer you to the 'featured post' Background, linked in the right margin in web view. Ana and I are set to go over her essay one more time for revisions and clarity and then I will be posting it, perhaps as early as tomorrow.

Sunday, July 23, 2017


There are so any appealing and sexy expressions that can be conveyed before, during, or after a punishment..............but one of my favorites is the the look of mischievous pride on a spanker's face! 

Unfortunately, just as with most things, a really good shot of this expression where the victim is also shown, is fairly rare.

Even in real life, it is a fleeting moment that is hard to catch......especially when you are face down over a lap!

There are lots of photos of menacing disciplinarians posed solo, and even a good amount of smiling ones. But to add 'smug' to 'smile' is a subtle treat.

Still, while a perfectly captivating smirk of authority is powerful on a woman alone, I still like to see that look linked to the task at hand.

(Tell me this doesn't look like  the Andy Bernard character from 'The Office' )

One of the things that I see with Rosa when she is among other 'friends-in-the-know' is that smug little grin that pops onto her face whenever she finds an opportunity to warn me to behave. Or if I am walking around in my chaps after a spanking. Give a confident disciplinarian a receptive audience and how can she not beam a bit at her obvious power?

I would love to hear from any female disciplinarians on where a bit of "Spanker's Swagger" fits into their own attitudes.

After all, how can you not love a woman who takes such evil pride in her disciplinary duties?

Thursday, July 20, 2017

Green light

I had a nice talk with Ana today about all sorts of things as usual, and at one point we discussed the appeal of D/s situations where the submissive is punished unfairly. I expressed that I have an affinity for fiction where the victim is somehow ensnared and can't escape their fate, while simultaneously resenting real life situations where the same thing occurs. I also brought up the issue of being a proxy (something Ana and I have a good deal of experience with) and I mentioned a short anecdote that I recalled from a now-defunct site entitled "Maman".

With a little looking I found a site that is housing some of the old Maman* stories and actually found the exact one I was telling Ana about: "Over Mrs. Johnson's Knee" (click title for link). We discussed the notion of proxy and Ana very simply said she felt that proxy situations are "win, win, win" scenarios where every party benefits. She said the guilty party escapes a punishment, the disciplinarian still has an outlet for their annoyance, and even the proxy ends up getting what they sort of want. Her opinion is that voluntary proxies have their own reasons for offering themselves up and that despite getting punished.....even genuinely....they still receive a kind of satisfaction from it. 

As a proxy myself, I have to agree with her. But I told her that for a proxy situation to work for me......whether in fiction or for myself in real practice, the punishment the proxy receives HAS to be equal to what the guilty party would have gotten. The spanking can't be milder because an 'innocent' is receiving the punishment instead of the actual perpetrator. It's what I liked about the Maman anecdote. Mrs. Johnson apparently spent several minutes TRYING to talk him out of his proxy offer! But, once the kid insisted on switching places, she did not go easier on him. 

Ultimately Ana said that while she can address real situations, even though she knows she has the authority, she still prefers situations where the submissive party (in her case, me) provides some sort of 'green light' acknowledgement of guilt or complicity. She said that once she has that assurance, she is far more likely to recommend harsher consequences than she might without it. It made sense. I felt very similarly back in the days when I was switching and doing some Topping myself. A sub's willingness fed my dominance and provoked my darker inklings.

And as 'green lights' go, one of my curious frustrations has been the reluctance of some of the other sanctioned disciplinarians in my life to use their given authority despite encouragement........even if it just meant employing "Discipline Slips" the way Ana does. But there are other factors at work in those cases, so I suppose the issue is more complex than just acting on a 'go ahead'.

And on that note, let me leave you with a link to one of my own 'proxy stories' aptly entitled: "Proxy"

*Maman ostensibly received submissions from regular adult people who recounted supposedly true and memorable disciplinary instances from their own youth. Admittedly the writing is what you'd expect and there are certainly some stories that seem to be made up, but many have a familiar air of truth about them......even if they aren't elaborate or well-crafted tales.

Wednesday, July 19, 2017

Life isn't fair

Not too long ago I came across this old single image cartoon/illustration drawn by an artist known for his Boy Scout and book illustrations.....and despite the apparent unfairness implied, could not help but find the image mischievously charming:

If the narrative in the boy's non-verbal word-bubble is true, this young lad is going to get it from his Mom for actually trying to do the right thing. What's worse is that one of the consequences of his heroism has ensured  that the angry matriarch will have a bare target for her little martinet.

I am not sure why I enjoy discipline stories with an air of unfairness in them, but I do. And this quirk of mine is made more odd by the fact that I detest unfairness in real life. 

The past few days have been a collection of little injustices.....though none have resulted in an unfair spanking from Rosa. Still, I am a bit worn down from the relentless persistence of these episodes. Sometimes I feel like there are actually fates who actively conspire against us!

Anyway, I just thought that the theme of today's post should reflect the issue of unfairness, and to conclude I have decided to provide a link to a past story of mine that has a bit of unfairness as its central ....though mostly lighthearted theme. It's called "No Good Deed" and it contains M/F , F/f AND f/f dynamics of disciplinary spankings within. Enjoy!  (click here for the story)

Friday, July 14, 2017

Captions & Quotes

Today I am going to celebrate the fact that my Tumblr, "Caption Hell" .......

has managed to exist for quite some time without gathering more than a tiny handful of "likes" from just two people. In this day of the easy and almost reflexive use of  "hitting the like button"  for just about anything on social media, and the sheer amount of inane things that gather "likes" like televangelists gather the gullible, it is truly a testament to "Caption Hell's" apparent unlikeability to have escaped this fate! And that deserves recognition!

Since "Caption Hell" is all about online captions, quotes, and stupidity, I have decided that it's only appropriate to render this tribute in the form of Googled tidbits from the Internet. So without further ado:

We could ALL use a bit more fun in our lives. But when I cruise the Internet looking to be entertained or titillated, I sometimes encounter things so maddening that sometimes.......

And because.....

I needed to react. I tried prayer........

.....but it didn't work. (No wonder I'm an atheist.) So I thought.....

...and as a direct result, I created "Caption Hell" as a fun, coping mechanism. Now some might argue:

....and that may be true, but......

(and by "you" I don't mean YOU ).....unless of course, you are one of the people whose captioned image has been chosen for comment on "Caption Hell". In which case.....

.....but, if......

And considering the alternative, be grateful for snarkiness:

So in conclusion, here's a toast to the Amazingly Unlikeable 'Caption Hell'..... 

Thursday, July 13, 2017


Things have been a little tense here due to Rosa having been diagnosed with a fairly large kidney stone. The intruder wreaked havoc on my poor Honey's mood and system, causing her to be all over the place mentally and physically. She was scheduled to have a uroscopic laser bombardment on Wednesday......but managed to pass the stone on her own while at work on Tuesday. 

Tuesday evening she was a different person.....all relaxed and even playful, and as a result, she had me give her a celebratory pedicure (while wearing the KTB "spiked tube") and afterwards going over her lap for a stress emancipating spanking. She teased that if she was in pain for the last few days, I should suffer a little as well.....but it was all in fun......even if the spanking itself was lengthy and stung. But she wasn't angry and went slowly, though firmly.....especially towards the end. Afterwards she mentioned she might be giving me a few more as the week progressed, but so far I have just gotten that one.

an older pencil drawing of mine depicting an aerial view of a play spanking.

In other news, I am continuing to wrestle with an uneven mix of boredom, frustration, and even anger..... with 90 degree weather, politics, general stupidity, people determined to rip me off, and cruising the Internet. As a result, I have bounced between projects erratically, getting some things done while stalling on others. I have yet to settle on how to deal with this persistent and pervasive mood.